Balancing Life

Balancing Life, my way, a special Sunday

2011-05-15T15:51:00.000+02:00

Walk the talk! After writing about how I am going to balance life, my way, it is time to do it. And today is a special Sunday which gives me a great opportunity to do just that.

My wife and kids are on holiday in Spain, which in itself might already be special, but that just happened to work out this way (original plan was that they would join my wife's parents while I spent two weeks in the US working, but as the last week got cancelled, I ended up spending a week alone here in Norway).
Where I am putting things into practice is how I decide to spend that week and although the choices might seem small at first, I feel they are a deeper expression of the choice I made earlier to life life my way.

For example, I made the conscious decision to work as much as possible this week. The simple reason is that I have a huge backlog of stuff to do (who doesn't?) and I would rather sacrifice some me-time when I'm alone this week on clearing this backlog, then having to do it when my family is back. So here I am on Sunday answering emails, reviewing status of projects I'm working on and actively driving action on the most urgent/important ones. Because I want to.

However as I do want to enjoy the huge amount of me-time life has given me, I am mixing work with some leisure time. At first I was thinking, oh I need to go to the gym, I need to be healthy because everybody tells me I need to be. Well, I decided not to. I have a session planned in the gym tomorrow and I decided that that was enough for now. I'll probably go back there again later this week and since I set a goal of going to the gym twice per week, this is good enough for me. And the key thing here for me is "good enough". I am a perfectionist who wants too much and previously I would have let that feeling get to me and go and overdo it. Not anymore, the goal is set and I'm sticking to it.

So what is it that I do? I guess what a lot of people would subscribe as "wasting time online":

I've got my Spotify music blasting louder than I ever can with the family around, running to it to "star" songs I really like, which to people who aren't as obsessed by music as I am might seem like an utterly waste of time
I've been on and off Twitter and Facebook ever since I got back home. Which I don't consider wasting time, for me, being here all by myself in Norway that is maintaining my social life.
I've been catching up on videos I wanted to see for a long time on Youtube and yes I did watch 5 minutes of the Eurosong finale. Hell, I even suffered 3 songs of Tokyo Hotel live, just to remember myself I really think they suck.

And then serendipity send "My Way" by Frank Sinatra to my Spotify songs, and since I've paid tribute to Frank and Sid before, here's Sid's version of it:

Enjoy it and go and live life your way

The 4 hour workweek - Lesson 1: Email

2011-04-17T08:10:00.000+02:00

In the spirit of balancing life, I made a conscious decision over a month ago to get a better balance in my life. Just like most middle managers, I was working more hours than officially required (a lot more) but more importantly it had gotten into all parts of my life. When I was on the bus, I was catching up on blog posts which are a combination of personal interests and stuff related to work. And pretty much the same applied for email, Twitter, Facebook and so on. In a way all parts of my life got mixed up in every communication channel that connects me to the outside world and so it ended up mixing up my inner world as well.

So I made 2 decisions. The first one was to make a clearer split between personal and business life. So you might now find me outside our front door ending a phone call with a colleague before stepping in to spend time with my wife and kids. And the phone doesn't go on anymore until the next morning.

But the biggest decision came after Tim Ferris' book The 4-hour workweek came back into my life. I've had this book for years and read through it once thinking how it was a lot of blah blah blah: nice when you don't work for a boss and when you're an American. But while cleaning up my book collection to make room for my iPAD 2, I flicked through it deciding whether I would give it away or not, when I realized it was about much more than kick boxing in Thailand and only working 4 hours per week. It's about gaining full control of your life. Lifestyle design as he calls it.

Well that is something I needed. And I quickly learned that I wasn't anymore; after a 10 year career, 2 kids and a busy personal life, it was time to take back control. And for that, Tim's book is actually a great starting point. While there are many good lessons to learn from the book, I want to start with the one that so far has had the biggest impact on my life: EMAIL and how to take back control over it. OK, maybe he doesn't talk so much about it as I feel he is, but his question

"Am I being productive or just active?"

to me equals emails. For me email is the true never ending story: by the time you handle 4, there are already 7 others screaming for your attention. And as such it became an underlying, constant nagging thing that infected my whole life. Partially because I have this tendency of trying to please everybody and want to help as much people as possible (yes, raised Catholic), partially because of the point raised earlier where I would be checking email constantly on my iPhone (if I wasn't reading them on my laptop of course!). Since I was already aware of this before I reread the book, I decided that for the Elimination part that Tim talks about, I was going to tackle this part of my life first and made the following commitment to myself:

1. I am reading emails only 1 hour per day for the first 2 weeks (until April 15)

2. Then I will only read emails 1 hour every other day (until April 30)

3. I will only read emails on Friday by May 12

I can tell you that I actually skipped step 1 and moved to step 2 right away. The first week I did this was a week in which I was flying out to Austin, Texas on Monday for a week. Let me tell you, 20 hours on a plane the first day you decide not to read any emails while you actually have 257 emails in your inbox waiting, is the best test to get started. It is then I realized what an addiction email truly is. At least once per hour I had the same feeling when I was quitting smoking; that nagging feeling of HAVING TO READ EMAILS. Maybe because I have tried to quit an addiction before, I had planned a lot of other work that needed to get done. And guess what, I did all of it and had enough time to watch a movie on the plane as well. Day 2 was booked with meetings so that made my email addiction easier.

And then the best thing happened. Tuesday evening I couldn't take it any more and I had to have my shot of emails. So I allowed myself the hour I had set aside and believe it or not, I got through all the email I received on those 2 days in 1 hour and 10 minutes!

I've been doing this ever since and I feel great. I have never been so productive although I do miss the occasional question for help. But that's a minor trade off against all the bigger work I can get done.

So for all my colleagues that are reading this, I would like to let you know I'll be reading emails every Tuesday and every Thursday afternoon.

In between I will actually be working.

Balancing Life, my way.

2011-04-11T23:40:00.005+02:00

So why this blog? Well, let me start with some information about myself before I tell you why.

I'm the Global Marketing Manager for 2 business units at a 3 billion dollar Life Science company; one business unit does $28 million, the other does over $30 million. I moved my family with 2 small kids from Belgium to Norway to pursue this career. All of this at the age of 34, not bad huh. So you can say that in the corporate rat race I consider myself to be successful.

In the parental world I consider myself often lost, and it seems all parents are. How else can you describe a responsibility that seems to request perfection all the time? Because the subject of responsibility (also known as "your kids") is the most precious thing in the world, so can you allow errors? And to make matters worse, there is no way to measure or know that you're doing things right. At least not for the next 15 years or so. And by then it's too late to get another try.

Sid Vicious did it his way!

And on a personal level I feel like I'm living in a different world. I'm a punk, I like tattoos (goes well with the white striped corporate suit and tie!).
Plus I'm a Believer. A believer of The Secret, meditation, acupuncture and so many other alternative ways of doing things.
I also believe in the pharmaceutical industry and modern day healthcare, but not so much to justify their total relative size over some of the solutions I mentioned earlier.

And I often felt that these 3 worlds did not connect:

I'm afraid to mention The Secret at work because most hardcore business people consider it fluff.
I never got more than one small tattoo because I always associated more with death metal factory workers who hang out in pubs all weekend getting drunk. Plus how would people perceive me as a business person if they found out I was totally inked up? Totally unacceptable.

Frank did it his way as well.

But this morning I realized that all this disconnect comes from what other people might think of me. Well, no more. From this day on I am completely defining my own world and I will show the world (or only myself if noone ever reads this blog) that these 3 worlds can be, no ARE connected.

So what I'm saying is that I want it all. I want to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, drive a Jaguar, I want to have tattoos all over my body and I want to have enough free time to have a great family life as well. Oh, and I also want to write a best selling book and be really famous. And I want to go away for the weekend with my high school friends and act like 16 year olds again. And then I want a zillion other things. So yes, literally EVERYTHING! The perfect life. And I want it all my way.

There were multiple pieces of inspiration that lead to this realization, however the thing that pushed me in starting this blog was this blog post:

http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/not-realistic/

And here's the main sentence that tipped me over: So the critics say: "Who are you to think you could possibly follow a dream? How silly of you".

Well, I'm continuing my dream. I have been for 34 years and now I feel it's time to take it to the next level. So this blog is about making the dream bigger and taking it to the next level. Because a career, a great family, plenty of money and great family and friends just isn't enough. No idea what that level is yet or where it is going to take me, all I know is that I wanted to write a blog about it while I'm figuring it all out. So here it is!

So follow me if you want to see where this next level will lead me to. I'll tell you all about it step by step.

Is het bestaan van God te verzoenen met de wetenschap?

2009-07-18T16:01:00.002+02:00

Een atheïstische professor in de wijsbegeerte sprak tot zijn klas over het
probleem dat de wetenschap heeft met God, de almachtige. Hij vroeg een van
zijn nieuwe studenten om op te staan en naar voren te komen.

Professor : Ben jij een christen?
Student : Ja meneer.
Professor : Dus je gelooft in GOD ?
Student : Absoluut, meneer.
Professor : Is GOD Goed ?
Student : Zeker.
Professor :Is GOD ALMACHTIG ?
Student :Ja.
Professor :Mijn broer is gestorven aan kanker terwijl hij GOD gebeden
had hem te genezen. De meesten van ons zouden anderen die ziek zijn helpen. Maar GOD deed dat niet. Is GOD dan wel goed geweest voor hem? Hmm?

(De student was stil )

Professor :Daar heb je geen antwoord op, he? Laten we eens opnieuw
beginnen, jongeman. Is GOD Goed?
Student : Ja.
Professor : Is Satan goed ?
Student :Nee.
Professor :Waar komt Satan vandaan ?
Student :Van . . . GOD .. ...
Professor :Dat is juist. Zeg eens, is er kwaad in deze wereld?
Student :Ja.
Professor : Kwaad is overal, niet ? En GOD heeft alles gemaakt, Correct?
Student :Ja.
Professor :Wie heeft het kwaad gecreëerd ?*

(Student geeft geen antwoord)

Professor :Is er ziekte? Immoraliteit? Haat? Lelijkheid? Al deze
dingen bestaan in de wereld, toch?
Student : Ja, meneer.
Professor :Zeg eens, wie heeft dat allemaal geschapen?

(Student had geen antwoord)

Professor :De wetenschap zegt dat we 5 zintuigen hebben waarmee we de
wereld om ons heen identificeren en waarnemen. Zeg eens . .. Heb jij ooit
GOD gezien?
Student :Nee, meneer.
Professor :Zeg eens . .. Heb jij ooit je GOD gehoord?
Student :Nee, meneer.
Professor :Heb jij ooit GOD gevoeld, aangeraakt, geroken of geproefd?
Heb je ooit enige sensuele perceptie van GOD in welke vorm dat ook gehad?
Student : Nee, meneer. Ik ben bang van niet.
Professor :Toch geloof je nog steeds HEM?
Student :Ja.
Professor :Volgens empirische, testbare, aantoonbare protocol, zegt de
wetenschap dat jouw GOD niet bestaat. Wat heb je daarop te zeggen?
Student :Niets. Ik heb slechts mijn Vertrouwen.
Professor :Ja,Vertrouwen . En dat is het probleem dat de wetenschap
heeft. . . . .

Student :Professor, is er zoiets als warmte?
Professor :Ja.
Student :En is er zoiets als koude?
Professor :Ja.
Student :Nee, meneer. Dat is er niet.

(Het werd erg stil in de klas nu de student de vragen stelde )

Student :Professor, je kan warmte hebben, gematigde warmte, intense
warmte, zelfs hitte, gloeiend heet, maar ook een heel klein beetje warmte.
Maar we hebben niet zoiets als koude. Wanneer we 273 °C onder nul, het
absolute nulpunt bereiken, is er geen warmte meer, maar verder dan dat
kunnen we niet gaan. Er is niet zoiets als koude. Het woord beschrijft
slechts de afwezigheid van warmte. We kunnen koude niet meten. Warmte is
energie. Koude is niet het tegenovergestelde van warmte, meneer, het is
alleen de afwezigheid ervan.

(Je kon een speld horen vallen)

Student :Hoe zit het met donker, Professor? Is er zoiets als donker?
Professor :Ja. Wat is de nacht anders als het niet donker is?
Student :U heeft het verkeerd, meneer. Donker is alleen de afwezigheid van iets. Er is flauw licht, normaal licht, fel licht, flits licht, helder licht. Maar als er geen licht is dan is er niets en dat noemen we donker, toch? Als donker zou bestaan, zouden we donker nog donkerder kunnen maken, toch?
Professor :En wat wil je daarmee zeggen, jongeman?
Student :Meneer, mijn punt is dat uw filosofische uitgangspunt onjuist is.
Professor :Onjuist? Kan je dat uitleggen?
Student :Meneer u gebruikt het uitgangspunt van dualiteit. U stelt dat er leven is dat er dood is, dat er een goede god en een slechte god is. U beziet het concept van GOD als iets eindigs, als iets dat we kunnen meten. Meneer, de wetenschap kan niet eens verklaren wat een gedachte is. Wij weten dat de hersenen daarvoor elektriciteit en magnetisme gebruiken, maar het is
nog nooit gezien en nog veel minder begrepen.
Wanneer u de dood beschouwt als het tegenovergestelde van leven dan gaat u
eraan voorbij dat de dood niet zelfstandig als iets kan bestaan zonder
leven. De dood is niet het tegenovergestelde van leven, maar alleen de
afwezigheid ervan.
Vertel eens, Professor, leert u uw studenten dat zij zijn geëvolueerd van
een aap?
Professor :Wanneer je refereert aan het natuurlijke evolutieproces, ja

zeker.
Student :Heeft u ooit evolutie geobserveerd met uw eigen ogen?

(De professor schudde zijn hoofd met een glimlach terwijl hij zich begon te
realiseren waar het argument heenging)

Student :Aangezien nog nooit ook maar iemand het evolutieproces in
werking heeft kunnen zien en het zelfs niet bewezen kan worden dat het een
voortgaand proces is, is het daarom niet zo. professor, dat u ons slechts uw
mening probeert te onderwijzen? Bent u niet in plaats van een professor in
de wetenschap eigenlijk een predikant?

(De klas ging even plat )

Student :Is er iemand in de klas die ooit het brein van de professor
heeft gezien?

(De klas bulderde van het lachen )

Student :Is er iemand die ooit het brein van de professor heeft gehoord, gevoeld, aangeraakt, geroken, geproefd? . . .

Niemand lijkt dat ooit gedaan te hebben. Dus, volgens het empirisch, testbare, aantoonbare protocol, zegt de wetenschap, professor, dat u geen brein heeft. Met alle respect, meneer, maar hoe kunnen we geloven dat het juist is wat u ons onderwijst?

(De klas was stil. De professor staarde de student aan, zijn gezicht ondoorgrondelijk )

Professor :Ik denk dat je daar maar op moet vertrouwen, jongeman.
Student :Dat is het meneer . . . Exact !
De band tussen de mens en GOD is vertrouwen. Dat is alles dat de dingen in leven houdt en in beweging..

NB: Ik geloof dat je deze conversatie wel leuk vond . . . en als dat zo is . ..
Die student was ...

Albert Einstein.

Why this is not the end of capitalism

2009-04-13T15:17:00.004+02:00

The tribe (i.e. the large group of people at the bottom of the pyramid of finances) are still striving to get to the top. The tribe still wants to live as their leaders do even when those leaders have turned out to be huge selfish frauds. Sure, the tribe may be upset by everhting they heared and learned over the past few months, however a large part of their frustration comes from the fact that they have been hurt, i.e. lost money, by trying to be and behave just like their leaders: spending their savings on stocks and taking risks all to move up the financial ladder themselves. So then the question is: is the frustration really towards the leaders or towards themselves?

Sure the top may have been flattened for now, however the pyramid as a whole is still standing strong and rising ever taller! All we need now is find another groundlayer to add to the pyramid. Africa, stay alert as we'll be coming after you now to add you to our ever growing capitalism.

1 question from my side though: can somebody perserves some of those safaria parcs before we ruin them for oil and minerals?

Thank you.

Things I could do when I lose my job

2009-03-31T23:15:00.002+02:00

Huh, here's a draft I saved mid 2009. It only took me 2 years to get started.
And no, I didn't lose my job. Yet.

Nr.1: Blogging full time. Perhaps I could do some of this already while staying in my job.

The real impact of social media

2009-03-31T23:07:00.002+02:00

Social media will move journalism from an 'after the event' report to a 'during the event live view of what is actually happening' without any subjective writing poured over it as so often is the case in today's news.

We'll all be journalists soon.

Make a difference

2009-03-31T23:06:00.003+02:00

1 post on your blog, one day on something you care about, will make a difference from being 1 of many bloggers to being THE reference in a field that maybe is yet to be defined.

So keep blogging!

Dead of democracy

2009-03-31T22:38:00.008+02:00

"If you narrow politics to an internetpoll where people can vote pro or con, to a mountain of individual little opinions where for each theme an accidental majority decides, than that is very dangerous. The individual reaction to a proposal is always understandable, however it's not always correct. On top of that she is always based on 1 consideration: what is in it for me in the short term? ... Democracy by internet is a caricature of democracy"

You may think this statement was made by a Chinese minister, perhaps some politician from 1 of the evolving African countries or someone from some other military regime... Unfortunatelly it is not! It comes from the ex-prime minister of Belgium, Jean-Luc Dehaene (prime minister from 1992 - 1999) in a combined interview with Alvin Toffler, the great visionair.

Taking another look at the statement and thinking about the pre-internet times when Mr. Dehaene ruled Belgium, you can conclude that democracy never existed in the first place, as it is clear from his statement that he sees it as a selected group of people (yes, elected by the masses) that (seems to believe they) know better than the masses that voted for them.

de·moc·ra·cy
Pronunciation:: \di-ˈmä-krə-sē\

1 a: government by the people ; especially : rule of the majority b: a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections2: a political unit that has a democratic government4: the common people especially when constituting the source of political authority5: the absence of hereditary or arbitrary class distinctions or privileges

Luckily Toffler disagreed and pointed out that we need to be aware that new ways of politics will arise in the future. What worries me the wost is that Dehaene is still active on a European level and if he doesn't understand that the world is changing, that the power of individuals, groups of individuals, communities and so on are increasingly become more important and POWERFULL than he should retire or open his mind to the possibilities that this is creating.

Dead of democracy is now official. Luckily it never existed in the first place.